Nine Things I’ve Learned in My 20’s

So a couple weeks ago I entered the last year of my twenties. I made a list of nine things I’ve learned in my 20’s (one for each year) and I meant to post it on my birthday, but things got in the way and I never typed it up. Turning 29 was kind of weird this year, but not weird in a bad way. I spent the entire day with my boyfriend, something I’d never done before on a birthday. I spent the morning alone at the beach even though it had snowed before I woke up. Last year on my birthday the temperature was 72 degrees and I drank iced coffee and watched the water. This year it was 32 degrees and I drank hot coffee and lamented the fact that I didn’t want to open my car window as I looked outside. I spent the rest of the day dragging J to a photo booth, not wanting to drive far enough to go to my favorite places (bookstores, Lush and Duck & Bunny). We wrote fiction in my living room then ate pizza at a restaurant that has two-for-one deals on Tuesdays. J made me red velvet cupcakes, the first cupcakes he’s probably ever made. It was super sweet and low key. I kept celebrating with dinners and lunches and friends after the actual day. Every day should be a celebration, really. Every day should be filled with friends and great food and love and acceptance.

Here are nine things I’ve learned in the past twenty years:

* If you aren’t sure if you like-like someone (that you are dating, might date, etc.) you don’t.

* Essentials include writing, good food, tea, movement, reading, music & creativity. Don’t sacrifice these. Also don’t sacrifice love, friendship or family.

* Invest in quality / natural food, shoes and body products

* make friends everywhere in every state and in other countries. use faraway friendships as vessels for travel, mental escapes and excuses to send and receive snail mail

* There’s someone out there who will defy what you’ve come to learn about dating and love and relationships. There may be many someones.

* “All we really have in life is the ability to help each other through the tough times” – Francesca Lia Block 11/7/13

* You will meet people you’ve never dreamed of meeting and go places you never thought you would go

* Happiness isn’t  goal to strive for but a state of mind to be in. Find joy in the small things and change what you don’t like

* life is made up of millions of tiny moments. These moments are beautiful, heartbreaking, fragile, intimate, daring and ordinary. It’s what you do with these moments that make up your own meaning of life.


*** bonus ***

have passion, don’t lose it. let it waver. let what you’re passionate about change. water your passion. let it fill you. if you think you might want to do something for the rest of your life – follow that dream. go back to school. join the circus. risk everything. take care of yourself. you are an adult and it’s no longer acceptable for you to rely on anyone else to take care of you. take care of other people. don’t let life pass you by. don’t follow trends just because. don’t sacrifice yourself. be amazing. open your heard. eat that cake.


Melanie Kristy


Things I Love Thursday


A weekly love letter/ gratitude list. What do you love this week?

Spending time at the beach even if it’s 33 degrees Fahrenheit outside and it snowed earlier that day
Gingerbread Man hot coffee from Marylous
Amazon packages in the mail
Extra time off
Birthdays (mine was this past Tuesday! When is yours?)
Cupcakes (my boyfriend who doesn’t bake made me some for my birthday. It was really sweet and they were super delicious)
Pot pie
Family dinners
Tea – especially Throat Coat by Traditional Medicinals, it tastes so good, sweet without added sweeteners
Meeting Francesca Lia Block again. More on this coming soon!
Photo booths, even the crappy mall ones

Letters to Myself on My Birthday (11/12)


Letters to myself
Past 18:
Senior year of high school is kicking off wildly. Be you. Write fiercely. Follow your dreams. There are going to be so many people who don’t understand. Don’t let them change you. One day you are going to meet Francesca Lia Block and she is going to help you more than you can imagine. But right now don’t forget to live. Let your emotions out. Scream at the top of your lungs. Go to the beach all of the time. And don’t stop writing.

Present 28:
You are exactly where you need to be right now. You are on ledges, dangling off and dancing with caution. But these ledges are only cusps to something better. Something beautiful. Relax. Your work will get done. Read books. Write fiction. Save pennies. Believe & most of all love.

Future 38:
Don’t forget who you were and all you’ve done and gone through. Don’t forget the magic. Spend your life shining. Wear glitter. And keep on writing, even if no one is reading. Youhave it all inside you.

dont dwell. Calm nostalgia.

Be here. Now. Today.

Looking For My Radio

I’m looking for a song to sing
I’m looking for a friend to borrow
I’m looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow

I. T. Z. Hanson

Sometimes I just want to say things into the Internet and press “publish”. I want to write one line and make it into a post. And then I think, why not? This is my space to do whatever I please.

The problem with Mondays is they already have such a bad reputation. You can’t help but anticipate the bad-ness of Mondays to the point where they are just not that good. (And this goes for other days of the week that act as “Mondays” but fall on other days).

I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately. Though I guess I’m always thinking a lot about life. About the human condition. About what we are, who we want to become. Last night Olga asked, “Do you think we’ll ever stop searching?” And, really, I couldn’t answer.

My immediate thought is, “no.” And the reason is because she and I, we don’t know what we’re looking for. We want to experience everything. We are going to go from country to country from novel to novel looking, searching, experiencing. I don’t think we’re going to stop searching.

Where as my parents, I think they stopped searching a long time ago. They have the house, the jobs and the kids. They are happy and content in their love and their lives. They have these things that I may never even decide to want. That picket fence love with two children,  and a dog (we don’t really have a picket fence, but everything else… that’s us.) Olga and I, we don’t need a ring to know love, we aren’t looking to settle for the rest of our lives.

But in turn, we don’t know what it is we are looking for.

I was driving home from work last night wondering what is it that makes me feel like I need to go places? What is it that makes me full of wanderlust, homesick for places I’ve never been? Why do I get anxious when I spend too much time in Massachusetts? I need to get out, and go somewhere.  But what is it that makes me so anxious when I feel stuck? Are any of us ever really stuck?

Maybe I should mention, Olga is currently in South Korea teaching English. She’s been in Togo, Africa through the Peace Corps, lived in MA. She grew up in Mexico and Guatemala. All of these continents don’t have what she’s looking for. It’s somewhere else, maybe. Inside someone else?

It’s inside us somewhere, but that doesn’t mean we’ll stop the search.

I want to teach English in Italy for at least three months. That’s at the top of my TO DO list. It’s something that might get me through the next year, if I can make it a possibility. I’m turning 26 at the end of this week, everyone. This entire week is going to be filled with reflections and lists and goals. It’s going to be filled with me in ways that I haven’t filled posts with before. Because, why not?

I want to know if you’re still searching. Do you know what you’re searching for? Can you pinpoint when it is that you stopped? Do you think you’ll ever stop?