What better way to recap the month than share lovely photographs with you? That’s what I thought.
I borrowed this photo off the internet (here) and obviously didn’t bother to crop it or anything. My bad! I thought it wouldn’t have the download tag down at the bottom. Oh well 🙂
owls. even before they suddenly became popular. i loved watching them fly around the building at sonoma state university. i loved how my mom wrote a paper about seeing an owl in our driveway. i love my friend olga’s owl tattoo. i love how cute they are and can be made to be. i love walking into my house at night and hearing a hooting sound.
blood oranges. i first heard of blood oranges when francesca lia block published a short story called Blood Oranges. I became obsessed for a while. the other day i bought some but i haven’t even tasted one yet.
i also love taking writing classes, even if they’re online, especially if they’re taught by my favorite author
harry potter. i’m doing a slow rereading currently, just started Chamber of Secrets in the time last night
reading in the bath. i was afraid of it but now i think i’m in love. i love bright pink water with heart shaped confetti swirling around, bubbles, epsom salts and the comfort of warm water
booktube – this is something i just recently discovered and i’m sure i’ll write about it soon. also vlogs. so people record vlogs about books, reviews, “book hauls, tbr lists among various other topics. i’m thinking about trying vlogging. what are your thoughts about it?
mac book. i finally bought a mac book after years of thinking about and considering one. and i love it. i also think it’s a stranger creature. we are still getting acquainted
travel plans. have i told you about my upcoming travel plans? i will. oh, i will.
what do you love today?
I very rarely share my blog information with dates or potential dates. I can be a little vulnerable in here and why would I want to allow someone I don’t yet trust to know all of these things about me? That being said there are a few who I’ve wanted to share my words with, and I thought it might be interesting to reflect here.
It doesn’t matter to you who said what, or why. So they aren’t in any certain order.
“You have a big online presence and it’s intimidating” this made me laugh because I think he imagined much more of my blog, especially because I have a Facebook page for it.
“If you spoke with half the peace of mind as you do in your blog, you wouldn’t have these problems connecting to people.” While he’s totally right here, I was blown away by this comment. It also shows something about me and the way I an comfortable with being vulnerable. It’s easier to do that in words in a removed place.
“I just decided to start my diet five minutes ago then I open the page to these [cupcakes].”
There have been other things, a few at least but I can’t remember.
Do you ever let someone you’re dating read your blog? What do they think or say?
So a couple weeks ago I entered the last year of my twenties. I made a list of nine things I’ve learned in my 20’s (one for each year) and I meant to post it on my birthday, but things got in the way and I never typed it up. Turning 29 was kind of weird this year, but not weird in a bad way. I spent the entire day with my boyfriend, something I’d never done before on a birthday. I spent the morning alone at the beach even though it had snowed before I woke up. Last year on my birthday the temperature was 72 degrees and I drank iced coffee and watched the water. This year it was 32 degrees and I drank hot coffee and lamented the fact that I didn’t want to open my car window as I looked outside. I spent the rest of the day dragging J to a photo booth, not wanting to drive far enough to go to my favorite places (bookstores, Lush and Duck & Bunny). We wrote fiction in my living room then ate pizza at a restaurant that has two-for-one deals on Tuesdays. J made me red velvet cupcakes, the first cupcakes he’s probably ever made. It was super sweet and low key. I kept celebrating with dinners and lunches and friends after the actual day. Every day should be a celebration, really. Every day should be filled with friends and great food and love and acceptance.
Here are nine things I’ve learned in the past twenty years:
* If you aren’t sure if you like-like someone (that you are dating, might date, etc.) you don’t.
* Essentials include writing, good food, tea, movement, reading, music & creativity. Don’t sacrifice these. Also don’t sacrifice love, friendship or family.
* Invest in quality / natural food, shoes and body products
* make friends everywhere in every state and in other countries. use faraway friendships as vessels for travel, mental escapes and excuses to send and receive snail mail
* There’s someone out there who will defy what you’ve come to learn about dating and love and relationships. There may be many someones.
* “All we really have in life is the ability to help each other through the tough times” – Francesca Lia Block 11/7/13
* You will meet people you’ve never dreamed of meeting and go places you never thought you would go
* Happiness isn’t goal to strive for but a state of mind to be in. Find joy in the small things and change what you don’t like
* life is made up of millions of tiny moments. These moments are beautiful, heartbreaking, fragile, intimate, daring and ordinary. It’s what you do with these moments that make up your own meaning of life.
*** bonus ***
have passion, don’t lose it. let it waver. let what you’re passionate about change. water your passion. let it fill you. if you think you might want to do something for the rest of your life – follow that dream. go back to school. join the circus. risk everything. take care of yourself. you are an adult and it’s no longer acceptable for you to rely on anyone else to take care of you. take care of other people. don’t let life pass you by. don’t follow trends just because. don’t sacrifice yourself. be amazing. open your heard. eat that cake.
In an effort to stop and take inventory of my life, find time to appreciate the little things and share the overall love I have for life I am participating in Things I Love Thursday which was originally started by Gala Darling but remembered by lots of bloggers and readers.
& moon gazing
& deciding on classes to take next semester
& receiving mix CDs
& brainstorming for Christmas (already!)
& Halloween costumes I probably won’t need to wear
& finding and making alone time
& I’m going to have a sister! Technically two seeing as I’m inheriting my future sister-in-law’s sister
& looking up dog breeds on my phone
& shopping online
& trips to Lush, especially when they have new product
What do you love today?
You wake up some days and try to figure out where you went, where you’ve been. Recently I’ve been walking on jettys, breathing beach water, and walking through state reservations. I’ve also been buried in obligations, navigating graduate school and fitting in spending time with a new boyfriend. I’ve been forgetting fiction. I’ve been ignoring words. I’ve been catching up on connections while on the run. I hurt my feet somehow between dancing in flip flops and trying to wear fake arches in my shoes. Then this weekend sore and tired I realized I keep in moving from one thing to the next, anxious to be there and see people or eat food or whatever. I need to slow down. I started to flip through a zine anthology I purchased and it all felt familiar.
I remember the days in North Adams when I would scroll through message boards about DIY projects, tshirt surgery and zine making. I remember the words and the music, the movement. I remember the connection and the belief. The passion and moments.
Sometimes life happens and you feel like you might be waking up. I’ve been doing a lot of worrying about my health, worried I’m not eating well and then consoling myself with pizza and brownies. I’ve been doing a lot of non productive lounging (resting can be productive. Resting while refreshing Facebook is not) and thinking about things I could do instead of doing them. I’ve been zoning out but not in a meditative state. I’ve been complaining instead of talking, sighing instead of breathing, and making excuses.
I’m ready to get back go me.
I want to start a zine and make connections, drink tea and read. I want to be part of something bigger than myself. I want to open my heart for bigger adventures, take even more pictures and listen to more music. I want to create mixes on 8tracks, seek out art and words that make me feel alive.
I am alive and I am living.
There’s no reason to allow the days to pass without remembering that.