In my last post I talked about Reverb10 and my attempts to use prompts to get back into writing and reflecting. It turns out Reverb was basically made for that purpose (though I initially thought it was for beginning a new year). It’s for endings and beginnings, bridging gaps between months.
December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
Today I wrote open your heart even if it has hairline fractures.
This year writing was forgotten to burn out, fatigue, homework and busyness. I’m currently procrastinating working on finishing a research paper on Young Adult Public Library Services in order to bring this post to you. I’m full of Curried Squash Soup and too sweet words through Facebook chat. I couldn’t finish NaNoWriMo this November because of mental blocks, my own lack of preparedness and hitting that proverbial wall that made it so I just couldn’t. (That wall is also what I hit earlier when I was attempting to paste quotes into my paper and write around them in ways that make me sound intelligent. That’s why the break for soup and more -different- words became important).
24,000 words of story, new story and emotional word vomit. I told my boyfriend I was writing the story of my life, and what it turned into was 6,000 words of my own destruction, liking biting my tongue to prevent emotion from spilling out while I was sitting in a public restaurant borrowing wi-fi and doing so much eating. I wanted to keep going with that emotional word vomit, the story of my life. To find the catharsis that makes writing worth it, important, a way through. And yet I stopped midway through. But that story isn’t over. I’m still here weaving between working and writing and reading and the everything else. So for now Reverb is my word-vomit. December is, apparently, the month of words.
Instead of writing I play mindless iPhone games, opt to sleep more, lay around zoned out, go shopping, stuff my face with extra calories and complain about pointless things.
I constantly come to the conclusion that I need to write. NEED. To. write.
And yet I need to create time and space for thoughts, allow imagination to exist without my every day. Be inspired. Love.
What’s keeping you from writing? Or doing whatever it is that you NEED to do?
You can read other Reverb journeys from a few of my writer friends, too.