Lots and Lots of Ladybugs


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Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come. – Martini, Under the Tuscan Sun

Every once in a while I share this story, whether I’m explaining to someone I know why I have a ladybug tattooed on my foot or I’m writing a blog post in a distant blog about this very thing. At my Weight Watchers meeting tonight my leader mentioned using “anchors” to keep yourself grounded. She spoke about the diamond earring she has that her mother left to her when she died. Rita told us about the time she had to go into the bathroom to calm herself down, rubbing her diamond and reminding herself of all that that diamond was. This meeting made me think of all of this, of my ladybug tattoo and the story I’m about to tell. Actually, it’s not so much a story as a retelling of a scene.

If you’ve seen Under the Tuscan Sun, you are familiar with this scene.

Here, I’ll set it up for you, Frances is talking to Katherine about all of the things she wants out of life and all of the things she wants out of Italy. She’s talking less and complaining a little bit more. Once Frances is done, Katherine tells her, “Listen, when I was a little girl I used to spend hours looking for ladybugs. Finally, I’d just give up and fall asleep in the grass. When I woke up, they were crawling all over me.” Then she says, “Go work on your house.”

To me, this is a story about faith. It’s about taking care of all of the little things instead of worrying about not having exactly what it is that you want. It’s the fact that if you really want something and you go out and live your own life, do what needs to be done, these things will have a way of coming to you.

This is one huge thing for me. Faith. Having faith in myself. And life. And taking care of things. It’s something I have to remind myself of, and I often forget to do it. It’s something that’s so important to me, I tattooed it to my foot as a constant reminder. My tattoo isn’t perfect, there are a few spots that are lighter than others due the the horrible time I had while it was healing. I could have those spots fixed. But right now I keep them, and part of that reason is another reminder that it’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to not have exactly what you want right now. As long as you are working for it. You can’t just get there. You have to pave the way.

<3.Melanie.Kristy

Ganesha

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“When I was in Mexico I started praying to Ganesha and all these good things began happening to me.” – Olga Montenegro

Last Wednesday at yoga Olga asked they hold a charm of a peculiar looking elephant for her to pick up on Saturday. I was fascinated by this charm, as I believe elephants are beautiful creatures, but I did not know any more about it than that. Friday night, while watching Eat Pray Love (review comng soon) Elizabeth was in a sort of market in one scene in India where a small Ganesha statue was presented to her. My mouth dropped open as I realized that this statue was the same beautiful elephant that Olga wanted to purchase, and it stayed open even longer as the movie explained that Ganesha is a “remover of obstacles”.

“I need one of those,” I whispered to no one in particular. And I still believe I do. I’m still fascinated and ready to search out more information on this Hindu god. I already know which place in Plymouth I plan on looking, maybe once I have another paycheck (Incantations , if anyone is wondering) I’ll pick one up. I plan on using Ganesha in some sort of spiritual practice. As a once Athiest, I’ve come a long way. But I’m so incredibly agnostic that I’m open to believing in (almost) anything.

Have you heard of Ganesha before? So you pray to any “unconventional” gods?

<3. Melanie. Kristy

Sometimes Faith Sneaks Up On You

I’m writing this for Olga, who is having a bit of a crisis of faith lately. I don’t talk much about religion. I was raised Catholic and I never liked being told that I was a sinner or that I was not allowed to believe in ghosts. I need to go over my background a little before I talk more about what I want to write about.

Since then I’ve been to religious retreats, we changed to a Protestant church and attended for a while where I had to go to Vacation Bible Study. I used to try to oversleep on Sunday mornings but it never worked out. I slowly stopped believing and by 8th grade I deemed myself an Athiest. I couldn’t be bothered to think about religion, it confused me and aggrevated me and I hated being preached to. Within the past couple of years I’ve been more interesting in opening up my spirituality. Since then I’ve realized that I am very agnostic, but I really don’t know where to go from there.

I’ve always celebrated Christian holidays. That’s how I was raised, and I cannot shed those traditions. I know some Bible stories and I believe that Jesus existed. Do I worship him? I’m not so sure. But at the moment I am happy to spend time seeking out religion and spirituality and I am content in exploring it in my own way.

I also need to make note that I am not a lucky person. My brother is lucky, he won a lap top in a raffle one time, he wins random scratch tickets and other odd things. I mostly stop trying to be lucky. It prevents me from setting myself up for disappointment.

A couple months ago I had a thing going on with this guy who stopped responding to me after one night we had hung out together. I was agitated and crushed because I really liked him, and I’m not used to really liking guys. All I wanted was some sort of answer as to why. Not knowing, in my opinion, is worse than knowing and being hurt. It’s worse to question and wonder and think about the possibilities. It’s worse when you have no control over the situation to even find out the truth.

Two days after this night with this night with this guy I went to a church for the first time in years. It wasn’t for a service but for a charity breakfast at the church my friend goes to. There were all sorts of raffles lining the tables. You could buy raffle tickets and pick what gifts you might be able to win. I didn’t think about buying any tickets. I didn’t have extra cash that week, and I don’t normally win anyway. Juli, however, had a few extra dollars. She bought tickets and distributed them between myself, herself and her cousin.

I picked two things to drop raffle tickets into. I only had four tickets so I put two in each. Wouldn’t you believe that I WON one of those packages? I put tickets in a package that included a couple gift cards for stores and restaurants around Plymouth and one for a relaxation package that included a gift certificate for a massage, a bamboo wind chime, lavender candles and some lavender scented Paul Mitchell products. I won the relaxation package and my immediate thought was; God is telling me to calm the fuck down.
Who cares about this guy, really? I mean, I did. But I knew it was going to be okay. I felt like I was being watched over at that moment while I ate my pancakes.

A few days ago on Olga’s post I told her that maybe God isn’t showing himself to her because he wants her to find him. I feel like maybe, by going to that breakfast on that day, that’s exactly what I had done.

❤ Melanie. Kristy