A few months ago I almost wrote an in depth confession about how I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. I almost wrote about how the new music stopped making me feel as much, how I miss the excitement, the poetry in the lyrics and feeling something. Something changed. I did. They did. We were like BFFs growing apart.
I told the Good Groupie about this, about how I felt like I was kind of losing my favorite band. There was something missing. Then I shut up about it and tried to ignore it, tried to forget. I didn’t try super hard to make the trip to Tulsa this year. I just let things be for a little while. When something that’s been part of your life for longer than it hasn’t doesn’t quite feel the same, you don’t want to dwell. You want that feeling to go away.
Then one day I felt like it was necessary that I go to Tulsa. I pleaded and worked my schedule and hoped for the time off that I wasn’t sure I could get. I booked a too expensive flight for a forty-six hour stay in Tulsa, Oklahoma for the MOE – Members Only Event that Hanson throws in their hometown every May. So I went.
And I remembered.
My time spent in Tulsa was mostly waiting. Waiting in lines, sitting in folding chairs and wondering when I was going to eat next. It was also spent dancing like crazy, wondering what I was actually witnessing and spending time with friends I barely see.
Every May In Tulsa Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson return to their roots and put on a concert. They play exclusive songs from yearly member-only EPs (we get 4-5 new songs a year on top of albums that are released). This year there were group photos, lectures, a “State of the Band” talk plus a movie screening and bowling (both which I didn’t attend). There’s a pop-up store and a gallery of some sort. This year there were a dance party that was reminiscent of a school dance with Taylor Hanson as our DJ.
It wasn’t until the beginning of Isaac’s “Underneath Naked” lecture that everything came together for me. They played a clip from a documentary called Strong Enough To Break. The documentary recounts the struggles Hanson had with their record label in the recording of their album third studio album Underneath. I can’t find the clip, but it’s about the future and Hanson and “ten years from now.” That’s the part that really got me.
That was ten years ago. And to be sitting around with over a thousand fans, in the presence of Hanson reminded of everything. The concerts and excitement, the growing with a band, making friends just because someone shares the same favorite band, having insanely awesome friends all over the states who I met because of this band, the waiting and laughing and worrying. All the lyrics that made me cry, the poetic lines that still give me goosebumps, and all the times I stood in the middle of a crowded music venue dumbfounded by words, voices and chords.
You see, I was a fangirl before that was a word (how very hipster of me, I know. -eyeroll-). We all were. We all made up screen names that related to lyrics, fantasized about being friends with band members and stayed up too late just listening to ten second music clips. We called the Hanson Hotline, a phone number with a Tulsa area code just to hear a voice message here and there. We dreamed of moving to Tulsa because obviously it was the place where all of our dreams would come true.
They have come so far and done so much. They turn an impossible record label situation into an opportunity to fly. While their music may not hit home with me completely as it has in the past, I’ve been reminded of just how amazing they are. I’ve also been reminded of how amazingly luck I am to have a love for music that not many other people understand.
So I take back all my thoughts I admitted to almost writing about at the beginning of this post. I left Tulsa with a renewed love, sense of adventure and intense longing for a DSLR camera and a record player.
If you want to read other posts where I discusses this love, check out