Do you ever feel “earthy crunchy”? That stereotypical hippie like being who likes yoga and bangle bracelets? I feel like my outsides and my insides don’t mesh. Sure, I love bangle bracelets. I especially love that Alex and Ani are made in America (with love). I don’t love that most other items are made in sweatshops. And yet I still sometimes go to Walmart. I’m not even sure where my clothes are from. part of me doesn’t even want to know. I think instead of feeling bad its better to be aware. It’s better to at least know. Have some empathy or something.
But organic apples.
I buy a lot of tea, the fancy good for you kind from Teavanna in flavored with real dried fruit (i know, I tasted it) and one with chocolate. but I keep forgetting to drink it. I’m not sure why. I love tea. I’d drink it at every meal if it was ready made for me.
I’m not lazy
okay maybe sometimes I am. But usually my mind is everywhere. I don’t remember to take the time to put on makeup unless its already out and on my desk. out of sight, out of mind.
Oh yoga. I did it for about fifteen minutes yesterday. I don’t know what happened.
I was tired.. I didn’t have the space to do a standing sun salutation against a wall. That’s what finally got me to quit (after a half hour playing with the video and downloading a new one so it would play after the first five minutes).
I couldn’t focus. I already felt stretched.
The video was taking an incredibly long time to load and work properly
Don’t mention the food industry to me unless you want an earful. I can get straight up political on that shit. And yet I’m not eating any better.
What am I saying here?
I have all these feelings and thoughts and they don’t jive with my actions. I don’t jive with myself. And I can’t quite figure that out. I can’t quite figure me out. Where to start. Where to go from here. Into the earth somewhere, to a place where I am free to practice tree pose and contemplate if I’d really use the juicer I so badly want to buy.