Crumbling down

And we all come
Tumbling down
No matter how small
We all return to the ground
Another day gone
A day closer to fate
Soon we’ll find it’s a little too late
Dying To Be Live – Hanson

I have no words. I am devastated and so so sad. There’s nothing to be said and everything to be said. It’s liked cant stop crying every times read the words,the quotes and retweets. Right now I don’t give a shit about gun control. I don’t want to know the name of the person who murdered lots of children. Just likes don’t want to know the name of the man molested and raped children and video taped it. I’m so much better ignoring the news because I am emotion sponge. I cling to anxiety. If I was an elementary school teacher I’d have so much anxiety that I wouldn’t want to return to my job. I’m going to leave you with the words I said to my friend Olga in a comment on her own blog. I’m turning off comments on this post. I’m too sad to read comments. I want to return to the present and live every day like its everyone’s last chance. You never know. And all you can do is live.

I love you. You are beautiful.

I feel like we live in a country that doesn’t care about people. It cares about profits and money and growing and power and in order to care about all of these things, the focus leaves the actual residents and goes back To money (ironically, I typed tomoney as one word and my iPad changed it to Romney ha) and things and shit that doesn’t matter. Have you seen that quote going around Facebook (this was before the shooting) that everyone’s asking to take God out of schools, etc ( because everything has to be so PC that its offensive to have a Christmas tree or say Merry Christmas to anyone) and in doing this… God has left. I consider myself agnostic and I don’t support the institution of religion but I kind of get what that quote is trying to say. While I don’t think, if there is aGod that he has “left” us, what weds is ultimately in our control. God doesn’t have control of that. I think we do need to talk abut mental illness but als,o we need to talk about also we need to talk about all of the additives that are in our food (to make it cheaper, addictive and more profitable) that has been known to cause behaviors change, specifically in people with illnesses and chemical imbalances but also autism and add/ ADHD. We need to talk about how everyone is too damn busy trying to stay afloat and make ends meat that we are stressed out and the no one pays attention to whats important anymore. I don’t want to bring a child into this world because I feel like we are in a hopeless place. And maybe the children of our future will change that but they.ll never be taught to change unless the greedy money driven aspect if the world changes because right now the overall image is the money and power are what’s most important. Nothing else matters. And that’s destroying us.



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