I wish I was lying when I said that every day is a struggle. It starts as soon as the alarm goes off and I’m startled into reality. This time of year I’m freezing and I don’t want to move at all. Since I’ve started CPAP therapy as soon as I wake it’s almost like I’ve forgotten how to breathe. But beyond all that, beyond not wanting to get dressed and go to work it’s the little things that I struggle with. They all add up, fast.
Those parts of being a “responsible adult” that are lost because I feel just so tired. Those moments right after work when I ponder what I am going to do with my evening. If I make plans, I’ll be able to distract myself. If I can’t make plans, more then likely I am headed home to read, watch TV or cruise around online. Somehow in all of this time at my house I manage to forget to shower, keep my dirty clothes from reaching the washing machine and not once manage to make a lunch for the next day.
Why? When I am home during those hours, why can’t I manage to bring my trash out or put my books away?
Now that I’ve made it sound like I’m a slob and I’ve completely changed the tone of this post, I want to point out that yes I realize that this is part of something so much bigger. But at the same time, my awareness is what pulls me aside and makes me see myself for my actions. And maybe the larger picture is really just made up of all of the tiny little pictures that haven’t quite been put together yet.
Today I read a post that Amy from Just A Titch wrote. (I also borrowed the title of this post from something she talks about in hers.) I feel like she summed up everything that I struggle with, especially lately in ways that I couldn’t quite put into words. She certainly did it so much better. It’s about showing up to life. It’s about having the courage to do the mundane and working through that before getting caught up in the larger picture.
Read her post here: On Showing Up, Everyday…
What are some everyday things you struggle with doing?